Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
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