so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
