At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
high people should be assigned attendants
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
