Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Randomize
