Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
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