I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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