did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
