he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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