sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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