i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
When are your genitals available?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
