we have officially lost it.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
