Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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