Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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