Fuck appropriateness.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
