you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
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