last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
