I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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