whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
