I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize