office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
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