Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
