and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
