That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
