You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
How does one acquire holy water?
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Randomize