and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
