there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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