We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
