i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize
