I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
