Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
What a dumb baby whore.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Your penis caused this!
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
