CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
