; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
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