Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
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