i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
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