I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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