We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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