and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
