You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
