I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
