Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
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