new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
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