I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
