I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
