Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I deserve this hangover.
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