He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
soo... how was my night?
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