I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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