If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
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