found the other keg... it's in the tree
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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