I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
