I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
This house was built for laser tag.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
