what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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