i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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