Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
her vagine was all disorganized.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
