why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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