I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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