I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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