Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
i was born a porn star she said
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize
