is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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