Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
