but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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