I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
